The course felt like the perfect training for me for a number of reasons. It felt like it would solve a few problems, and bring a great richness to my life over the next two years.
Alongside the excitement butterflies, I was also aware of a different variety. These butterflies didn’t feel so friendly. They felt unsettled, fractious.
I dismissed them and carried on with my plans. This morning, just before I filled in the application form, I got some information which pointed me towards questioning my decision. This little space was enough to let me see how desperately I’d wanted this training to be ‘the answer’. I got suspicious. I realised that it was an attempt to fix something that couldn’t really be fixed.
I might do the training, and I might not, but I’m going to give myself more time and space to decide. Those anxious butterflies were right all along.