Category Archives: grumpiness

How words can change you (shake a leg!)

Misty Oak (Explored)Kaspa writes: I often struggle first thing in the mornings. The part of my brain that wakes up first is an older, animal part, grumpy and unwilling to face the sunlight. I try to have patience with other people’s perkiness as I wait for the rest of my brain to wake up.

This morning was a classic example. I woke early, as the sunlight started to creep though the curtains, and spent the next couple of hours drifting in and out of sleep, vaguely unconscious even in the wakeful moments.

I was completely asleep when the alarm went off, and cried out as it pulled me from the depths of my dream. Eventually I stumbled downstairs and put the kettle on. Whilst the water was boiling I stepped in to the freshly spring-cleaned conservatory.

Sunshine streamed through the windows, the houseplant (that I don’t know the name of) looked much perkier after being watered yesterday and on the table was Being Human, the most recent anthology from Neil Astley. My mind full of thoughts of waking up, and how grumpy I can be in the mornings, I opened the anthology at random and read Dawn Revisited by Rita Dove…

Dawn Revisited

Imagine you wake up
with a second chance: the blue jay
hawks his pretty wares
and the oak still stands, spreading
glorious shade. If you don’t look back,

the future never happens.
How good to rise in sunlight,
in the prodigal smell of biscuits -
eggs and sausage on the grill.
The whole sky is yours

to write on, blown open
to a blank page. Come on,
shake a leg! You’ll never know
who’s down there, frying those eggs,
if you don’t get up and see.

Rita Dove

A beautiful poem which speaks for itself. Reading those few words completely changed my attitude this morning and reminded me – How good to rise in sunlight!

(…I want to shoehorn a reference in to the Eastern Therapeutic Writing Course that I’m running August here as well somehow. Something about using poems to help us see the world more clearly (we look at writing waka on the the course). Perhaps I won’t mention it until I write something about the massive spring-clean we’ve been doing here and the importance, as Dr Morita said, of taking care of your surroundings….)

Happy writing, everyone!

Planting Seeds: On being grumpy

A couple of times recently, I’ve found myself getting grumpy at someone I love.
There hasn’t been any rational reason for the grumpiness, but I’ve expressed it anyway. The other person has received it, graciously and with love. And then I get upset.
The grumpiness has turned out to be a tender insecure feeling, masquerading as a spoilt and angry child.
John Welwood puts it perfectly in his book ‘Challenge of the Heart’:
These parts of us that give us the most trouble are like children in need of our attention, whom we have cut off from our unconditional love. We say to ourselves, in effect, “I can only love me if I don’t have this fear, etc.” However, any part of us that is cut off from our love eventually becomes sick, for it is the circulation of the heart’s energy that keeps us healthy.
I’ve been lucky enough to have someone else help me with my troublesome grumpy-ness. But I think we can also offer this unconditional love to ourselves. Little by little, we can accept the parts of us that give us trouble. We can listen to them, kindly. They will transform all by themselves.
Things to be curious about:
Which parts of you give you trouble? How could you share this part of you with someone who could love it? How could you be more loving towards it yourself? What might be behind the trouble?
Quotes:
Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything terrible is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that needs our love.
-Rainer Maria Rilke

Anger as soon as fed is dead-
‘Tis starving makes it fat.

-Emily Dickinson
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