Chocolate cows.

Are you laughing?

I made this joke up a couple of nights ago. It had me in hysterics for several hours.

It works better if you pronounce it a mixture between ‘mousse’ and ‘moos’. It work better if you repeat the joke to every new person that comes into the room. Funny yet?

OK – I think you had to be there. It’s not the funniest joke in the world, but you might not think Eamon drawing a snail in Pictionary because he misread ‘small’ is funny either, or me drawing handcuffs instead of cufflinks and wondering why nobody was getting it, or any of the other hundred things that were hilarious at the time.

I haven’t laughed so hard for years. What are the magic ingredients of hilarity? Good friends? A slightly edgy energy? Overtiredness?

I don’t know what’s making it happen, but I’m enjoying every second. Chocolate cows ; ) CHOCOLATE COWS!

It all depends on your point of view. I’ve harvested my favourites from the Facebook thread that grew from the Tiny Lizard post – thank you Jim, Clare, Emma, Peter, Neil and Matt. Try not to wet yourselves laughing.

What’s red and sits in a corner?
A naughty strawberry!

What’s brown and sticky?
A stick.

What’s brown and sounds like a bell?
Dung.

What’s red and invisible?
No tomatoes.

What ticks on the wall?
Ticky tape.

Dog walks into the bar with his arm in a sling. Says, “Ah’m looking for the man who shot mah paw.”

A bear walks into a bar and says: “I’ll have…. … … … … a pint of Harveys, please.”And the barman says: “Why the big pause?”

Duck goes into the drugstore and buys a tube of lipstick. The shop assistant says, “Are you paying for it now?” and the duck says, “No, just put it on my bill.”

All I got for my last birthday was a pack of sticky playing cards…..I found it really hard to deal with.

I was arrested yesterday on suspicion of murdering my orchestra conductor.Apparently because I had bought a Stradivarius in 2002, an Amati in 1998 anda Guarneri in 1990, the police said I had a history of violins.

Altogether now… GROAN.

Any similar jokes in the comments section please. That should keep us all going for a long time.

A man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder.

The barman looks at the creature and asks the man what he calls it.

“Tiny,” replies the man.

“Why’s that?” asks the bartender.

“Because he’s my newt!”

*

That is my kind of joke. (Thanks Ed)

When I wrote this post, the counter (bottom right) was at ten thousand exactly. It’ll be more than that now, because you’re here. I think that is a cause for celebration. Sticky toffee pudding and a blob of very thick cream for lunch will do it. Thank you for reading!