Satya writes: Take a slow breath in and out. Now imagine…
You wake up slowly, remembering your journey here as you watch the sunlight playing on the wall. You think of the week of space ahead of you and you let out a slow, deep breath.
Your breakfast is prepared for you, and you chat with the other group members who were strangers yesterday but who are already feeling like friends.
After eating fresh bread and runny cheese or a bowl of bright fruit, some slow walking meditation along the canal. You feel tension dripping away with every conscious step. A morning of mindful writing exercises, which take you in unexpected and interesting directions. A lazy lunch, a 1:1 with one of your tutors, an afternoon swim in a cool deep-blue pool, an evening of candlelight and sharing poetry. Time to slink off with a book, time to forge new friendships, time to explore those questions you’ve had about the direction your life is taking. Time to write in your journal. Time to be.
These are the kinds of spaces that we need to fight for. These are growing-spaces – a nourishing mixture of work and play, of winding down and learning new things. Times for opening up and allowing what’s outside of us to influence us, and for processing and pondering and feeling uncomfortable and letting go.
It’s easier to justify spending time and money on ‘leisure time’ when we flop on a beach with a trashy novel for a week. But these growing-spaces nourish us in a way that lying by the beach could never do. They give us enough reflective space to process whatever needs processing and to ponder on any deep questions that we’ve been stuck with. They send us back into our ordinary lives on a different track.
Without these growing-spaces, we all have a tendency to go onto automatic pilot. We continue with our safe and predictable habits, and we mistake the-comfort-of-security for being-alive. We forget that our time on this awe-inspiring planet is finite, and we get tangled up in little worries that distract us from some of our bigger worries (which in turn get in the way of Big Joy).
In my experience this kind of space very rarely presents itself to us – we need to carve it out. We need to be determined! So where might we find ourselves more growing-space?
You can make mini-growing-spaces by sitting still for five minutes every morning, by taking a note-book to a cafe for an hour, by investing in 31 Days or by driving to see the sea for half a day. Week-long growing-spaces include yoga retreats, spiritual retreats, walking holidays, a week of art or cooking or writing.
And if you’d like to make the fantasy of waking up and watching the sunlight playing on the wall into a reality, you can! Spend a week with me & Kaspa in the south of France from the 28th of April, mindful writing & making creative space. This is the only whole week we’re tutoring this year. We’ll be at Château Ventenac where you’ll be thoroughly looked after (& cooked for) by owner Julia, and there will be oodles & oodles of growing-space. Mindful walks along the canal, mindful writing workshops, spare time for reading & doing nothing & swimming in the private pool, friendly evenings of poetry on the terrace… Read more here and get in touch with me or with Julia if you’d like to know more. Carve it out! Make it possible!
What growing-space will you find yourself this week? This year? Do let us know in the comments.
Satya…
I am reading this and your post makes me sad and frustrated and feel furious with myself.
Recently I read a post by a mentor/friend Tara Gentile about being stuck… “Stuckers have other priorities. Plain and simple. Their desire is spread thin and something else in their lives is receiving top priority.”
I know I am stuck. But I suppose part of being stuck (even just recognizing it!) is self-fulfilling prophecy. Is it depression? Is it just the reality of parenting (the endless cycle of “structure” that is so necessary for small children… and so mind-blowingly grinding to me.)
I look off into the far-distance of the freedoms of “growing-space” and can’t think of any good way to apply that to my life right now that wouldn’t be (literally) continuously interrupted by other people’s needs.
Thank you for this post. Sometimes when you talk about these spaces of “alone” time, I just grab 3 seconds and try to remember what my life used to be like before I become a tool for everyone else to use.
Elizabeth – thank you for writing and reminding me of something I should have emphasised more in this post. IT’S REALLY REALLY HARD TO FIND THIS TIME! And three seconds is MUCH better than no seconds. And these seconds add up. Sending you some deep breaths and some kindness-for-yourself, and a bunch of virtual small stones, and some love.
Thank you dear Satya for your sweet message. I’m happy to say I do carve out time each morning for meditation, writing in my journal and writing a small stone. It is a practice I cherish and appreeciate that I can do this each day!
This week iIm going to a 1/2 day workshop at the ocean called Journey day book. It is journal writing with art combined. I have been wanting to do some art work for some time and this is very inspiring to me.I will share about small stones!
How I’d love to come to France for your workshop! Sadly, i can’t but I will be there in spirit, as I am with you anyway!
Fondly, Julanne
A shame you can’t make it over to France – maybe another year? And glad you’re still writing the small stones – keep going!
Dear Elizabeth, your words here reminded me so much of all those days when I struggled hard to try and balance my needs with my children’s, and somehow constantly ‘failed’. I recognize the note of frustration in your voice. It’s hard always having to be there for others, constantly burying your dreams and desires beneath layer upon layer of responsibilities. But you know it does change. 5 children later I am living proof that 24 hour parenting does come to an end! The funny thing is that all those seemingly endless days and nights taught me more valuable spiritual lessons than anything else ever could have. I suppose it is true that the lessons we need to learn are right in front of us, wherever we are now. Enjoy your 3 seconds of inner spacIousness whenever it arises. Later when you discover longer pockets of time just for yourself alone, you will recognize the taste and feel of inner freedom. Know too, you are doing the right thing. In the end our inner guides and voices never let us down. All we need do is open the ear of our hearts to hear and listen to their wisdom. Be well. Be happy.
Thank you Edith for wisdom from the future! I’ve bestowed my own wisdom on younger women once or twice and hoped it was taken and place on some visible shelf somewhere for reference, so I will try to do the same.
Edith, that was really nice to read! I’ve got a small child and another on the way. Like Elizabeth, the idea of spending a week filled with things that aren’t work/exigencies/have-to-do-things is a distant dream at the moment. (But a very lovely sounding one, anyway, Satya, I’ll enjoy dreaming it.)
Meanwhile, it makes me so aware of how precious time is. That awareness can help, force one not to waste it, and it can hinder – make one guard it like a miser.
Dear Satya,
Thank you for this beautiful post… I stopped what I was doing, and took a moment to read it and remind myself that taking time to carve out growing space is imperative. I’ve been all systems go for many years and this year, something inside of me said: Stop. Slow down. Savor the Silence. The persistent urge I felt at the start of this year was a challenge to turn inside and focus on deeper matters; family, friends, and my true needs.
At times, I feel Elizabeth’s frustration as I wonder if this ramping down is a precursor to becoming stuck. But it isn’t. Sometimes we must answer the beat of a new drum; enter a new phase in our lives. If we resist, it gets tougher. I’ve found that turning my energy to deeper matters has opened a new creative door but not one I share. Some of my friends wonder what’s going on and some understand.
As I read your post, I was comforted by the gentle voice reminding me that I’m in that phase of growing space/growth that is built on “a nourishing mixture of work and play, of winding down and learning new things.” And it’s okay. I also want to send a hug to Elizabeth to say: it’s going to be okay. Parenting little ones is demanding and it’s a special, albeit challenging, phase… Savor the time, go with the flow, and trust that eventually a new phase will take its place and offer some ease.
Blessings,
Eliz
_/_ Eliz.
Oh if only I could. Sounds heavenly!!
What an inspiring idea Satya. I was only thinking today of a friend of mine who takes himself of to retreat for a day or in the local Travelodge. People, even writers, find this habit of hisquite amusing but it giveshim timeto tnink andscribble without interuption. He tells us he has never written anything brillaint while on his retreats but he does when he returns. I was contemplating something similar when my other half said can I come and I hadn’t the heart to say no. So where does that leave me. After reading your post I am looking at the possibility of driving and just sitting in my car where there is a view and seeing if I can soak up something from just being there. I do have thinking time in a morning when I sit with my feet on a circulation booster for 30 minutes. I seem to have lost the small stone habit and am struggling to get back to it so if anyone has any helpful hints for that I would be grateful.
Yes, a Travelodge retreat sounds perfect! Could you do two trips, one with your other half and one without? small stones – have you visited our group on FB for support? http://www.facebook.com/groups/smallstones/?fref=ts or tried our Booster? http://www.writingourwayhome.com/?page_id=17 one small stone at a time!
Dear Satya,
What a poignant post, one that calls to me so strongly. Life is full right now, and I do need to carve out some space for more writing and soul nourishing. And France, not this year…but sometime…soon, I hope!
Thank you Rosanna – sorry you won’t be able to make it this year, maybe next! Good luck in carving out that time…
Dear Satya,
What a wonderful moment I had imagining myself with this group. I am new to the writing stones group but find it an activity that has become a special part of my meditation/journaling time. Thank you for all the opportunities that you share. Perhaps this will be something in my future…
Welcome Karen – so glad you’re enjoying the small stones. And maybe next year! (or this year??)