How to feel at home wherever you are


Kaspa writes: First, some course news  In February we’re running two e-courses. I’m facilitating Finding Your Way Home, and Satya is leading Writing as Spiritual Practice.

This month we’re also introducing an additional premium course package, which includes two one-to-one Creative Boosts as well as the usual course material.

How we can feel at home wherever we are

There is a spiritual ideal which says that one should feel at home wherever one is. Or perhaps that one can feel at home wherever one is.

I know that in reality there are some places in which it is easier for me to settle and feel at home, and some places where it’s much more difficult.

Why is that, and what makes the difference? How can I feel at home wherever I am?

Turning into our street, after a long-drive home and a few days away, I feel myself start to relax. The dull artichoke-green wheelie-bins are lined up near the roadside. They have black waste-to-landfill bags stacked on top of them. When the wheelie-bins first arrived I watched that stacking habit spread up the street like a minor infection.

The orange-sulphur street lamps cast an unnatural glow on the scene.  A silver Bengal cat crouches behind the wheel-arch of a plumber’s van.  I must have seen this whole picture hundreds of times. More perhaps.

In reality, I know very little about the lives of those black-bin-bag stackers, or the plumber, or the family which owns five Bengal cats, however their presence is consistent. I have no idea what is changing behind most of the closed doors of this street, but the illusion of things remaining the same is a comfort.

And there is the clue as to what makes it easier for me to feel at home.

Part of me feels like there is a kind of safety in knowing how things are, in the predictability of the lined up bins and the presence of the neighbours skulking cat.

Another part of me knows that this feeling of safety rests on an illusion. There may be more or less predictable events, but nothing is certain.

I think it’s this uncertainty we are running from, when we run towards home. Or rather, it’s the reaction we have to this uncertainty, and the feelings it gives rise to, which creates an urgent impulse to find certainty in us.

How can we feel at home wherever we are?

Here are three ways.

Worldly security

Build a home for yourself where the chances for uncertainty are less, and where you can manage change and unexpected events as they occur.  Make sure you can pay your mortgage each month, and that you have the right kind of insurance.

Good community

Find good friends to join or create a community of friendship; either locally or a network spread across the world. This web of friendship can hold you when life sends unpleasant surprises your way, and celebrate with you when life sends pleasant surprises.

Facing uncertainty and change

Worldly security is not guaranteed and even good friends can let you down. The way to a deep and lasting sense of being at home wherever you are is to face and accept the truth that everything changes.

It is easy to say ‘everything changes’, however the way to finding yourself at home is not in repeating platitudes but in really seeing and facing whatever is happening in your life right now.

We move towards being at ease with universal uncertainty through working with real examples of change.

I try and do all three of these in my own life, and it’s a work in progress on all three fronts. My income is getting more secure, my friendships are deepening and I try to work with uncertainty whenever it appears.

I still look forward to turning into our street after a long journey though.

Join us from February 6th us for one of our mindful writing e-courses Finding Your Way Home or Writing and Spiritual Practice. Find out what it means to be at home for you, whatever is happening in your life, or write your way to  praise, clear-seeing, perseverance & faith.

Photo by by mugley, some rights reserved.

Comments & replies

5 thoughts on “How to feel at home wherever you are

  1. John S Oliver

    Am I Beautiful?

    Minimal Monday

    Here is a three word question: “Am I beautiful?”
    This is so simple on the surface.
    Yet when a girl or woman asks that of themselves, then watch out!

    The female wants the affirmation of a positive reply.
    But while the answer, “Yes you are beautiful.” is simple it is not easy to get.

    It seems that girls want their father and mother to tell them they are beautiful.
    Also they want their female friends and especially certain males.
    The search for positive answers continues as a woman.

    This quest for beauty fuels the several industries in our economy.
    Consider cosmetics, hair care, fashion, diet, fitness, cosmetic surgery and more.

    The question “Am I beautiful?” can be sometimes related to the following questions.
    “Am I acceptable?”
    “Am I lovable?”
    “Am I sexy?”
    “Am I cool?”
    “Am I hip?”
    “Am I feminine (enough)?”

    To complicate matters further the following internal issues can be involved.
    Low self esteem

    The ideals of beauty are on all around the females and males.
    These are found in all kinds of places.
    TV shows
    Fashion shows

    The images of beautiful women that appear in print have been digitally retouched.
    There are online videos that show how many subtle changes make a huge difference.
    So the flawless ideal that is presented is not humanly possible.

    Plus there are many more layers and layers of complications.
    All this springs from the three word question, “Am I beautiful?”

  2. Brinda



    words and thoughts
    mingle in the vast arena
    of doing and to be done

    opening one window
    after another to the real
    within and without

    senses sharpen
    the breaths easier
    heartbeats settle

    in the middle
    of chaos

    sunny beams
    untold promises
    roars of laughter

    facing east
    ready for new set
    of fresh joy


  3. Lizzie Carver

    Yes, everything changes, Kaspa. And I am, at last, coming to accept the notion that change can be excellent, good or OK and not always accompanied by doom and drama… ☺A much more comfortable and comforting place to be!

    1. Kaspa Post author

      Thanks Lizzie, everything changes easy to say but sometimes difficult to live with. But if we can live it, it does lead to a much deeper sense of being at ease in the world.

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