Not necessarily happy, but glad (books as children)

This is what Kathleen wrote about my novel The Blue Handbag on Goodreads:

"Fiona has this way of sending me places inside myself that I don't always want to go. Each of her books that I've read have put me in this predicament. Having said this, I am always glad (not necessarily happy) to have traveled there.
Another fine novel. I thank you."

It's always very odd to hear people talking about my books. I imagine it might be like overhearing people you don't know talking about your children.

Your children are out there in the world, meeting people, making an impression. You think you know them, but then someone else will tell you something about them that you didn't know. Some people will be very fond of them, and others will take an instant dislike to them. There's nothing you can do about that.

The best you can hope for is that some people will see what you see in your children, and love them wholeheartedly, flaws and all.

The best I can hope for is that some people will like my writing style, and that some people will love my characters wholeheartedly as much as I do - flaws and all.

Reviews like Kathleens come along once in a while to remind me that I'm on the right path. I shouldn't need praise to carry on, but I'm human, and I do. Thank you, Kathleen, for your thank you.

"Sending people to places they don't want to go, but they're glad when they've got there" - this could be my mission statement. It's certainly what I do as a therapist and coach. Maybe 'invite' rather than 'send'. I hope my readers feel that I'm right there beside them, as they journey forwards into the unknown. I am there. I am here.

Update on Rosie, and a bit more praise and blame

If you've been reading this blog for a while you'll know about Rosie, my beloved, brand new (well a few months old now), bright red Fiat 500.

I still love her very much. I'm waiting for the feelings to wear off, but I still feel warm and fuzzy inside whenever I return to her. I still wave to other drivers of red Fiat 500s (sometimes they ignore me, and sometimes they grin madly and wave back).

I even forgive her her inconvenient headlight dimmer switch, and her hard headrest which hurts your head when you bang into it. Nobody's perfect. I won't hear a word said against her. I've even been WASHING her, inside and out! (never before known to happen).

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Sarah sent me some quotes from the Tao after reading the last piece on praise/blame. They fit very nicely and so I've copied them below. Thanks Sarah.

I've been thinking more about praise. I wonder if there's nothing wrong with enjoying the TASTE of it, like relishing a crisp salad or a nice slice of carrot cake, but the problems come when we start to seek it/expect it/cling to it/need it?

Happy Sunday. Mine was a stripey mini-pumpkin from the garden, sliced and hollowed out and filled with creamy gruyere mushroomy sauce by lovely boyfriend. Firm, buttery flesh, and such a sunshiney orange colour. Lucky me.

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"the Master does his job
and then stops....


Because he believes in himself,
he doesn't try to convince others.
Because he is content with himself,
he doesn't need others approval,
Because he accepts himself,
the whole world accepts him."

and

"do your work and step back,
the only path to serenity"

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PS 21 blogs in the Blogsplash... come on in, the water's lovely!

Praise and Blame and Nights Drawing In

If we really stop to think about praise and criticism, we will see they do not have the least importance. Whether we receive praise or criticism is of no account. The only important thing is that we have a pure motivation, and let the law of cause and effect be our witness. If we are really honest, we can see that it makes no difference whether we receive praise and acclaim. The whole world might sing our praises, but if we have done something wrong, then we will still have to suffer the consequences for ourselves, and we cannot escape them. If we act only out of a pure motivation, all the beings of the three realms can criticize and rebuke us, but none of them will be able to cause us to suffer. According to the law of karma, each and every one of us must answer individually for our actions.

This is how we can put a stop to these kinds of thoughts altogether, by seeing how they are completely insubstantial, like dreams or magical illusions. When people praise us and we glow with delight, it is because we think that being praised is beneficial. But that is like thinking that there is some substance to a rainbow or a dream. However much benefit appears to accrue from praise and acclaim, actually there's none at all. —The Dalai Lama (read the rest of the article here)

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I wish that wasn't true - I like a bit of praise. But that DL knows what he's talking about.

Friday already. September already. The nights are drawing in. We've been on the verge of turning the heating on for days, and I think we'll fold this weekend. There's no going back...

I'm looking forward to autumn colours and fires in our logburner, and new jumpers and cats on laps. And Christmas, and even January, when it's cold and the grass goes crunchy, and the year starts again.

But before any of that, I'll look forward to today first. It's back to this mouthful of cereal, this sip of tea. It's always back to that.

Happy weekends x